Friday, November 10, 2006

More on Dad...

Well, we appear to be winding down. As I say this, dad is in the ICU having problems breathing. His lungs are filling up and his heart is shutting down. His "ejection fraction" was 10% to 15% the other night but it has to be less now due to a heart attack they say he had yesterday. When he speaks, he rarely speaks more than one word per breath. Essentially, he's drowning.

He's on Heparin, Dobutamine and Lasix among other things. His blood pressure when I left the hospital was 85/56 or so. And it is hard to see him laboring for every breath. He has problems eating or drinking because his epiglottis won't close. So he aspirates.

But I'm very thankful that last evening I had the opportunity to tell him that even though he never got around to teaching me all the things he knew (he's a Renaissance man) he succeeded in teaching me (without being aware of it) the more important things like integrity and character. Those are the things that God is interested in above all else.

I praise God for having him as an earthly father even though I didn't always feel that way (he was a workaholic enterpreneur type). And as I told him, I will always love him.

So, I'm now dealing with the adjustment of knowing that, barring some very large miraculous work of God, dad has very little time left on this earth. It is a very tough adjustment.

My prayers are now more for my mom, who is 83 and having to deal with all this. She's in fair spirits but they will have been married 69 years on the 28th of this month. And that house will get very big in a hurry. I'm thankful that she professes Christ. I hope that the Lord grants her many healthy years to come. She is still fairly active, at least to this point.

So, as always, thank you for all your prayers. God will grant us grace to endure whatever comes along, even though I feel the anxiety that comes with a loss of control of things. But I can't do anything at all to reverse this. After all, it is appointed that we all leave this life sooner or later, one way or another.

May God be praised for the gift of my father, who taught me to value character and integrity above all else. It's the part of him that will live on in me, by the grace of God.


Kim T said...
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Kim T said...

May you, and your mother, and all who love your dad be comforted greatly by the Father of mercies, the God of all comfort.